Introduction Lyrics

Before we begin tonight's broadcast

We'd like to share this brief message

To remind you to support the products

That have brought the following hour of

Entertainment into the comfort of your home

Are you feeling uncertain about smacking Little Tommy around?

He sure seems like a tough cookie

But after a long day at the office

A highball at breakfast and your

Three Martini lunch, you can let

Westen Bishop handle the discipline for you

With the brand new, easy to use Belt-O-Matic!

Belt-O-Matic knows just what Little Tommy needs

To clear up that unruly streak

And is guaranteed to solve all your disciplinary needs

Without the hassle of taking the belt to Little Tommy yourself

Haven't you done enough work today Dad?

Let Belt-O-Matic do the smacking for you!