Especially for some of you Lyrics

I've been told to be happy in my life

Even though I got strife deep inside

I've been told "you should talk more"

I've been told that I shoulda talked more

I've been told that now I'm paying for the fact

I've been keeping within myself my fucking entire world

I've been told to go see a shrink

That I coulda been helped by therapy

I've been told so many, many things

But I'm stuck in so many, many lies

Sure, I'm not here to claim I'm the only one who fell

Out there, there are millions of people dealing with hell

Again, I've been told to be happy in my life

More than once, more than twice, more than thrice

By the people who can't feel what I feel

And I'm not here to blame 'em, they just cannot see

They just cannot understand they can't give a hand

Cause they don't know

They don't know how it works

They don't know how it feels

They don't know that it hurts so much

So much that nobody can even touch the pain I have inside

And I keep wondering if I'm still alive

Like a shark swimming in the ocean

Everyone thinks it has no emotion

But what if a shark cries so badly

But nobody can see it in the vastness of the sea?

It's there, and nobody can see it

And nobody is there with him

Cause you know: it's hard to tell

When a tear runs down your cheek into the water

Like it's hard to tell when a person needs help

A person who smiles in company, hiding his agony

And nobody can see it, they just can't

Most of them are just good at pointing their index

Judging hypocritically from their thrones without even knowing

What someone is going through

I feel like a burning candle, burning at both ends

And I'm right in the fucking middle of this candle

And I can't feel the warmth getting closer

And I'm supposed to, but I don't

It's like I'm so cold I cannot even feel those flames

And surely, this is a horrible shame

When a human being feels so empty

Empty like a colander, I'd say

I mean, it doesn't matter how many things you put in yourself

They just disappeared, out of the blue, like if they never existed

And I'm spitting all the sadness I have inside

In this fucking microphone, in this fucking mike

And I'm cold, and I'm scared

Cause I've never felt like this before

Like floating deep in this ocean of nothing

And it's scary, it's suffocating, and I'm scared

Cause I'm trying to figure out how to fill me back up

But nothing works, just nothing

And it sucks, it really does, it really hurts, it really does

And I wonder if that is, if that is how it feels, when death comes

Feeling nothing, feeling numbness and feeling alone

And I just wanna cry. I wanna scream. I wanna live

I wanna bleed, cause if I bleed and if I cry

That means I'm still alive, yeah, I'm still alive

I gotta go now, see y'all soon

At least I do hope that, cause I don't feel like I have so much time left

But I promise, I'll do whatever it takes to be still around for a while

Especially for some of you

VMC