Lunchbox Note Lyrics

To my children

I feel like the end is getting near so I sat down and wrote this letter

It sounds crazy but in case I ain't around I wanna leave something behind to help you know me better

Some of the things I'm getting ready to tell you are gonna rain down on your head like you've been locked outside with no umbrella

But the one thing you always gotta remember through the whole entire thing is that your daddies a strong fella

Now I know because of the way that I raised you that it's gonna be really hard for you to understand it

But their was a time when your father was possibly the brokest man to ever step foot on this planet

Not many chances or any advances

No helping hands and family always seemed to vanish

The truth is when you're just a little baby boy who's out there all alone you always end up getting into bad shit

But I ain't never did anything I ain't have to

I wouldn't take it back or rewrite a single chapter

Cause' it made me the man that I am today with everything I believe in and all that I stand for

Looking back though it's crazy

Shed a tear in amazement that I made it through the stormy weather

Three or four sweaters in cold weather

No heat in the apartment cause your Noni didn't know better

Food was considered a luxury

The refrigerator wasn't always stocked

Matter of fact it was hardly ever stocked

If I was hungry then I had to hit my homies down the block

So no surprise you're provoked to cry when you look me in my lonely eyes

And I'm aware you've always known about the pain in my soul and right now you're wondering why I never told you why

Well I had to set examples for y'all

So I just couldn't tell you I was getting money in the streets

I didn't want you thinking you ain't have to go to school because I went out and got lucky with the beats

And I didn't want you hurting cause you knew of my burden it just didn't seem worth it

So I only told you what I thought you could grasp

Little bits of my past

And I was always careful how to word it

I'm supposed to be strong for y'all so I just couldn't look you in the eye and tell you what I've been through

You'd be shocked I'm alive if you knew all the abuse that I survived physical and mental

And Noni always knew in the beginning I was hers and grandpa's evil seed

And she always made me feel unwanted calling me the mouth to feed that she just don't need

So I spent many years alone incarcerated in my own damn mind

The search for love and support was a mission that I had to abort because I looked but I never could find

I learned how to take care of myself

Never rely on no one else and put my heart on a shelf

I don't need nobodies help

I'ma get to where I'm going shut the feelings down and focus on the wealth

So that's what I did

Ice cold heart a frigid lonely little kid

And that's why I'm always working so hard because I wanna make damn sure that's never the life that you gotta live

So when you're missing me the rain is falling down and you're feeling like you couldn't get wetter

Always remember that everything I ever did in my whole life

I only did it just to make yours better

I love you