Have an Alaskan Party Lyrics

Grab your SAD light and IPA

Cause there's only four hours in a day!

There's no need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan party!

Grab your dry fish and hacky sack

There's an outhouse for use in the back!

There's no need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan party!

We're having a great time at the party, I'm excited

It almost doesn't matter that I wasn't invited

Some find it funny, others inexcusable

How was I supposed to know it's Grandma's funeral?

It's Friday on the highway in a small town

Hanging by the bridge, got something to throw down?

A fridge, a washer, an old TV set

It might seem pathetic but we ain't forty yet

Doin' loser laps in my used car tonight

Got stopped by two cops for a broken taillight

We get off with a warning, ride away from the patrol

One cop says to the other, "Man, those teens looked old"

In sea towns everybody wants a sailboat

Mostly folk who mix up the word "line" for "rope"

When they're high they wish to buy a ship but they're flat broke

And wonder why as they buy another bag of strong dope

Grab your Carhartt's and guitar

It's your 49th try to be a star!

There's no need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan Party!

Grab your Xtratuffs and yoga mat

They sure got a festival for that!

There's not need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan party!

Once I wondered how I'd deal with success

Now I can't even get in Anchorage Free Press

In fact, last time I was in Anchorage on a bench

An old lady threw me a dime 'cause she thought I was homeless (Thanks!)

I don't mean to sound depressed or get dark

But my "music career" needs to have quotations marks

I just want attention and for concerts to pay me

Quick, someone get me a summer dress and ukulele

And I can sing cover songs every Summer on a stage

About salmon and first love and the occasional train

Later on I'll join a band of white kids who play folk

Whose parents are lawyers that live on the east coast

We'll call our group The Blueberry Pickin' Love Giants

Headline Salmon Stock then I incite a riot

A thousand hipsters trampled alive in a panic

Reviews will later call us "violently organic"

Grab your growler and granola bag

And your limited edition COEXIST swag!

There's no need to be sorry

Have an Alaskan Party!

Grab your hat that says "Let's Go Brandon"

And your new hero from his mansion!

There's no need to be sorry

Have an Alaskan Party!

This is the end of the Richardson where some fishermen

Piss away their living like it's a yearly tradition

They gettin' kicked from the same bar, different night from same fights

Like they won't ever listen, they just don't know how to act right

When they're in the seine, they're sane

When they're out, they're in

"Sane's" just a state of mind compromised by gin

Don't forget the newer townsfolks not yet inured to

The tourists who ask where they can feed the birds, you say,

"Behind Eagles, wait, I mean 'Safeway'

Savings to claim 'cause it's 'Five Dollar Friday!'

Could you use my number when you shop?

I gotta save on gas prices till it drops

And I won't give you directions if you stop

This whole town consists of only eighteen blocks

Anyway, I better go 'cause it's five o'clock

I better bring whisky to the Exxon dock"

Crash your boat, spill some oil, boy!

The whole state will then become employed

There's no need to be sorry

Have an Alaskan party!

Are the orphanages spending too heavy?

Just cut their budget like Dunleavy!

There's no need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan party!

Is the winter making you irate?

Just leave nine months for the Lower 48!

There's no need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan party!

Did you go a week for Sober October

Now you feel your drinking problem's over?

There's no need to be sorry!

Have an Alaskan party!