Mother May I ft. Nohokai & Chenelle McCoy Lyrics

As a child growing up I used to fiend for affection

Honestly I didn't know that what I need was direction

Kindness and love minus all the greed and deception

Loyalty to me was something I ain't seen or expected

I used to ask my mom why we never heard from my father

Like after age seven he ain't worried or bother

Her new husband was a punk and I ain't never respect him

Each day would pray to find a way to sever connection

Two brothers one sister zero hope for a formal life

Hungry no money catch me holding a fork and knife

Sports and recreation filled the void for a minute

Still the world we had created was destroyed in a instant

It was hard to process, lost touch with my self esteem

Never felt loved much, wasn't a healthy thing

Grew up hearing raps bout others pops that was leaving

Mom locked in her room said don't knock less you're bleeding

In fact this hell, guess the new normal was broken homes

Or being trapped in a cell, like 2020 with mobile phones

Wrote my poems about how I was hopeless

The lies and dope misguide you while you trying to focus

Liars provoke us stoking fires pyres is smoking

We dying they choke us while others stand by are you joking

Wonder why I'd grow this way and still smile

And hope it's a way my child can ride the waves 2000 miles from an ocean

I even took my father in, what I'm trying to cope with

Separation anxiety is wildly corrosive

Still every day I keep aspiring to rise and reload this dosage

And hit the road for gigs which I apply with the vocals

Rappers wanna talk but they don't know the pain

Like every sentence they mention spoken with novocaine

Every sentence I mention is fuckin yoga flame

I wrote the same until the whole game known my name

And it's like when look back at my life I'm just seeing all my struggle and stress

It's getting tougher just to juggle all the pain and the troubles bubbling up in my chest

I'm going crazy... angry words mumbled under my breath

Can't nobody save me... I know I'm headed for a wonderful death

I had to bring it back a final verse cause this shit go deep

To reenact the fact that I know cats is just gon sleep

I used to write my raps and tip toe creep

So peeps wouldn't know my wig loaded packed like pistol Pete

I'm pissed though hoping that my shit don't leak

That's forbidden never catch me slipping like crisco grease

Just know me, cold when I illustrate

Now I own real estate, that's my old soul in it's realest state

Cold around my heart is melted bet, regained my self respect

The heartfelt y'all ain't felt it yet

This is where heaven and hell connect

We all been dealt a deck some have and some haven't dealt with yet

Took my past put it on a song, it's facts damn

Quote this I'm focused like PAC Man

Going for the gold and goat list god is strong

Now basically chasing ghosts that was chasing me all along