prophet of pain Lyrics

Just minutes before you came to see me, I finished sobbing until my ribs broke

Moments ago, I wiped the tears from my eyes

Peeled the red from my cheeks, and the hurt from my voice

My friend, you are the one I'm truly hiding from

It's far too ugly inside

Just seconds before you appeared, I tried to disappear forever

Vanished like the words from my mouth that are left unspoken

We lock eyes

I want to beg for help but I can't

It's been months since somebody asked me if I'm okay

And even if they did, I wouldn't answer

It's far too complex

This isn't a simple sadness

This is a complicated catastrophe

I do not believe in me, so why would you

My feelings disappear before I can figure them out

My chest hurts, the inside

My heart, my ribs, my pride

I swallow it down and realize I'm not alright

Last night, I dreamt of feeling okay and I didn't like it

Because pain is perfect

Scars are preferred

And rotting is pleasant

Ink dries as my words refuse to write

Friends leave as my thumbs refuse to type

Leaves fall and silent sobs erupt from within

I fall to my knees and I beg

Why me

Why am I the prophet of pain

When I don't have the words anymore

I am lost

I grasp for anything to distract me from wanting it all to end

One day at a time

Until the days begin to crumble

Until I can't tell today from tomorrow

Until your mouth blurs over and hearing your words become punishment

Until my skin drips like candle wax

Until pretty words burn upon pages

And I am left alone

You want someone to lift you up but I have fallen

You need someone to wipe your tears but I am sobbing

My outlet has become my own worst enemy

Nothing is real

And I am lost