Mr. Shoes Tied Lyrics

I thought that I'd be a millionaire

I thought I'd be in Vanity Fair

But I'm gonna be thirty, my kitchen is dirty

My shower drain is clogged with my hair

I thought that I'd trip into my wife

I thought she'd just fall into my life

But I never mingle, I'm chronically single

My thumb is tired from all the swipes

But I don't mind I'm not Mr. Right

I'm getting acquainted with my mystery life

I'm Mr. Shoes Tied, Mr. Deep Sigh, Mr. I'm Doing Alright

I'm Mr. Hindsight, Mr. Fine Life, Mr. Peaked In Junior High

I used to think I'd be the man but now I think I'm just some guy

I thought that I'd be properly paid

And rewarded for my excellent grades

But the economy's funny, the memes turned to money

I just learned about a Roth IRA

I thought I'd be the macho ideal

a double-pecked stomach of steel

but my voice is still whiny, my biceps are tiny

And I'm five nine... in two inch heels

But I don't mind I'm not Mr. Right

I'm getting acquainted with my mystery life

I'm Mr. Shoes Tied, Mr. Deep Sigh, Mr. I'm Doing Alright

I'm Mr. Hindsight, Mr. Fine Life, Mr. Peaked In Junior High

I used to think I'd be the man but now I think I'm just some guy

And I like it, I don't need to be seen to be real anymore

Fuck it I love it

I'm finally fine, even when I'm ignored

I'm not a prodigy, waiting to be alive

'Cause I'm Mr. Shoes Tied, Mr. Deep Sigh, Mr. I'm Doing Alright

I'm Mr. Hindsight, Mr. Fine Life, Mr. Peaked In Junior High

I used to think I'd be the man but now I think I'm just some guy